feeling a bit down in the dumps

hey everyone, sorry this isn't a real post, per se, but I just need to talk about my feelings a bit (people always groan or so when I start talking about my feelings - sorry!).

I'm feeling so stressed at the moment due to multiple things but I won't talk about everything, as I know some people I know read this blog and I don't feel like divulging everything to them. That's why I never talk about my crush as I'm scared it would get back to him and I'd just feel like an absolute knob then. So, as most of my issues concern, it's school again. My first issue is that I need enough points to get an average of 38/60 in all languages put together. So to give you an example of my points, I have about 30 in german, 34 in french and 56 in english. It's enough, but I don't feel it's fair as the english is the reason it's so high and it's an unfair advantage as I am english. Now in french I got 14/30 in this written part due to not respecting the fact that we had to write 200-250 words (OH, I am SO sorry I wrote so much!) and the top of the class guy also wrote too much yet DIDN'T get points taken off. So I went to my teacher and apparently I got them taken off cause my style's not good and too many grammatical mistakes.

Well, you know what? It feels as if my teacher is just trying to make things so much harder for me, despite knowing I need to get the points. She knows I'll do anything I can to improve, I'm going to Paris for two weeks in the summer for an intensive summer course because literature is the only thing I like and I can't imagine doing anything else at school. This is making me really upset cause I hate it when teachers try and motivate you through reverse psychology by saying you're shit, basically. So this is a lot of stress for me especially as I'm currently failing German (although, my german teacher believes in me and seems to really want me to do languages. She even told me I've managed to pass my lit history test, although not by how much, but it's an improvement.) and I can't handle the added stress from french.

So why not just do other subjects? The other ones are maths, biology and sciences, economics, art or general. I can't do any of those and could never imagining doing them. Keeping my options open, I went to a lecture thing about sciences after school and it was just not my thing.

On top of this, I have a bio test tomorrow and I can't remember anything. I even wrote everything down from the book and it's just going in one ear and out the other. So I'm gonna fail, and then if I compensate it with marks from other subjects, most likely english as that is my best subject, and then I won't have as many points for the languages and it just feels as if everything is going wrong now.

I know this is nothing compared to other people on the blogosphere's problems, but to me they're pretty big and I just can't stand the idea of being a failure and I feel I need to live up to what my sis was like at school. On top of that, I have no idea whether my crush likes me or not, most likely not, I just feel so inferior to him and just wish so much he would like me back and am just so stressed about it all.

Sorry about all the rambling but I just needed to get it off my chest.

New Necklace!

Bonjour, mes petites poules!

So lately I have developeda habit of loving jewellery, which is quite odd as I have never really been a jewellery person. But after discovering some gorgeous handmade jewellery sites on etsy.com and bigcartel.com, a couple of weeks ago, I ordered a few necklaces from assorted sites and my first one arrived today!

Ok, the picture is not the best, being a webcame pic but you can see the necklace, which is the Oh, to be in England necklace from Ess Bee Vee's etsy shop.

I will be posting better quality pictures once I get different batteries for my camera so that you can all see the necklace clearer, it's gorgeous and lovely and I'm running out of adjectifs to describe it, but I think quaint is quite apt!

Other pics from her shop would be the Lovely Bones necklace, O Swallows flying from the golden woods and the lovely lovely locket love, you could use a little of locket. She's having a sale at the moment, so go check her site out!

On another note, I have decided to make it my mission to convince some of my teachers to do a field trip to the Chateau de Versailles. We have been covering it in History (doing Louis XIV, le roi de soleil!) and Art History, and I just think the place looks stunning! I am a bit of a history geek, especially French history, it's absolutely fascinating and I'd just love to spend a day losing myself in the gardens and the castle, just exploring.

This panorama 360 view of the Hall of Mirrors is making me want to go even more so, as I think that room is just stunning and to see it in reality would probably gobsmack me.

(picture from google search)

So I would love to go there and hopefully, with a few well placed points, I might just be able (with the help of my classmates, obviously) to convince some of the teachers and make a trip to Versailles a reality.

A bit of a ramble

Hi there! Now to start the new year off with an admittedly awful joke of mine : I haven't posted since last year!

Ok..moving on from my failure as a comedian(ne), as the title indicates, this is a bit of a ramble without any pictures. I know, no pictures is no fun, but I am on my dad's computer without my Photoshop, so yeah, nothing happening on that front.

This post is just a little bit of a talk about my life as my incredibly nosy self likes reading about other people's lives so I thought maybe people might like reading about mine? If you don't, feel free to tell me in the comments, I'm game for all kinds of criticism.

Now, as you all know, I'm a 16 year old girl living in Luxembourg. I go to one of the luxembourgish state schools instead of the European or International one and I suppose I like it. Back up a minute, she likes school?! Well, I suppose I should specify. Bit of an anecdote here, but a couple of years ago, when I first started secondary, I was crap in German and French. I dreaded the lessons, hardly ever did my homework and nearly failed German. It never really helped that my German teacher was an absolute xenophobic knob who basically made me feel I was useless in languages. French was never really my forte either, and yet again, I had a teacher the next year who would NEVER give constructive criticism and always made me feel I was awful at French. To think that I was actually related to my literature student sister seemed insane (add to that that this very sister is one of my role models and that I always wanted to follow her footsteps schoolwise)

Fast forward a few years...I'm fourth best in French. I don't know how that happened, but I think it started last year when I decided to get my act together and work in class. That with a teacher who actually gave constructive criticism and despite my many mistakes, actually believed in my potential. So I started working and over the last year, my interest for literature grew to the point where I want to go to the languages section next year. And so now I generally enjoy French and German classes, despite my being rubbish in the latter.

So there you have my bit of inner geek. And now again for my geekiness on another part..

I've always (well, the last few years) been a believe in trying new things out. A couple of years ago, I joined the school choir due to my love of music but found it wasn't really what I expected and also as I wasn't a fantastic singer, I just lost my passion for that...And then this year, I joined the club that had caught my eye in my first year (but I didn't join)..english theatre (as opposed to german and french theatre). And here, I believe, I've found the thing that I love. Ok, that's corny, but still I've always loved being an extra in movies, but as an extremely vain person, I've always wanted a bit of the limelight, which you don't get as an extra. And here, it happens I'm actually not bad at acting. I feel in my element and I really look forward to practice each week. So I guess you could say I'm a theatre geek as well.

So I suppose that gives you all an insight into my life. I know most people my age don't think of school as important, but I do. I know, I sound like your typical no-fun, geeky top of the class kid, but I'm not. And my classmates certainly think I'm a downer sometimes (I've even had it said to my face on one occasion!), as I get a bit shirty if someone gets punished because after a while, the school will just refuse to let us have lessons off when our teachers are sick, which my classmates all love, so I'm just looking out for them, yet they don't like that, do they? I'm one of those people that sometimes loves their class and sometimes not. I do like most of them, but I have to admit, next year when we're all separated, I'll be relieved.

So, there you have it. A few of the things that dominate my life. I know this is a bit rambly, and also a bit boring to a few of you, but as you can tell, I like talking about myself. I suppose I view my blog as a place where I can talk about my life, because that way, if people are interested, they'll write back and give their opinions, whereas a diary doesn't. I would love to say I'm a typical teenager, but in reality, I'm not. I'm far too uptight (is it just me or is the fact that 14 year olds go out and get pissed just taking the biscuit? I mean, they already get to drink legally at 16, surely that's early enough?) and I prefer watching QI on a friday night rather than going out on the lash , so I guess you could just say I'm an old lady at heart .

Sorry if you got bored reading this, if it's tedious, do let me know and I'll stop at once.

On a more beauty blogging related note, I've been thinking of redoing a few reviews, as the photos I took with them are just plain awful and that really irks me. Agree?

Happy New Year's!

image from weheartit.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

As I am so perfectionist (really?!), I wanted to post about the new year in the first hour of the new year. Well, for me at least.

Oh yes, people, Nat's sad enough not to be going out but I don't mind, I'm an old lady at heart.

I'm not going to talk about my resolutions for this year as I know I never keep them. But there is one thing I'd like to achieve this year, although call it superficial and typical for a teenager, but this year I would like to get a boyfriend. I have someone in mind who I really like but I'm not gonna blab about it or anything in case I curse it ( not that I'm anywhere NEAR going on a date with him at the moment... at least he knows me so it's not a complete uphill struggle)

So happy new year's everyone and enjoy it and as the luxembourgers say, have 'e gudde rutsch!' which literally translates to a good slide.

Weird, eh?